The Sayonara mail ...

I left my previous company without even sending a farewell mail! Well, finally on the way back home I had some time and that too was not without any hiccups. Since there's nothing more interesting that has happened of late, I thought I will reproduce the Sayonara mail.

I write this as I listen to the strains of the soundtrack of Serendipity standing out of the unrestrained orchestra of the Netravati Express as I inch closer to God’s own Country. The last few days were a blur with me getting lost in the maze of a thousand things to do and byes and well wishes flying all around.

I would prefer not to write my last mail in a way that rakes up the nostalgic dust of the days gone by. Those who know me might already know how much I enjoyed these days and what all I did. I do hope that the stories, gossips and rumours linger on and prolong the legacy or whatever you may call it, persist for the time to come.

I thought I will pen down a few thoughts that sporadically come and go in my mind. Some codes that I tried to live by ...

1. Mumbai is a great place to roam around. Be it the city or the places outside it. Go on a pleasant weekend with a clear mind and scour the streets and take in the chaos of the local train, the best buses, the aura of the marine drive etc. Hundreds of places outside Mumbai too are worth a visit. Use your weekends! Be a traveller.

2. Bikers abound in this city. Get your own ride and login to xbhp.com You get a lot of friends and also something to divert your attention to during office hours

3. If you are bitten by the environment bug, try bicycling. I still cherish the moments we at cyclists.in we spent in that night ride from Powai to Nariman point and back. You get a chance to attend the Critical mass (google it up) or ride down the Sea link on your own bicycle. And by the way you are planning to buy one, don’t get something for less than 10000! Believe me, it is worth every buck you shell out

4. Trek the Sahyadris, get close to nature. Take your tent or your sleeping bag, or rather rent it, and spend some time in close communion with nature. You won’t realize what you are missing unless you experience it firsthand!

5. Same with Astronomy. A night under the stars is the best thing to recharge your batteries. Get in touch with Khagolmandal.com or some astronomy clubs for a night out under the stars!

6. Mumbai is the best place to be in if you are in for adventure or you want to try something different. Take out time to go to karting, horse riding, river rafting, paragliding etc. Do it!

7. The very important deadline at work may not be significant in a week! The most important thing now would not be a concern five years from now! I have come to the conclusion that you got to enjoy and have fun every moment and make friends for those are the memories that are going to last and those are the people who remember you for all eternity.

8. It is not about how many friends you have but how many people are ready to call you a friend.

9. I am not old enough to say that Money is nothing and that it will come today and go tomorrow.

10. Do not be desperate, your time will come J

11. L&T gym at gate 2 is a great place to go to especially if you are in powai for an extended duration! It does keep a check on your progress!!

12. If you are not the gym freak kind, you do burn some calories when you go on Tuesdays and Thursdays to play football and maybe till the enthusiasm lasts, play cricket too. You do get to meet passionate sport freaks at gate 7 on the rendezvous days.

13. You won’t be alone if you say that LR2 food is crap. I had successfully boycotted if for close to four months in 2010!

14. Enjoy your forays to Galleria, the 75 ka Subway, the occasional pleasures at KFC, the delectable pizzas, all of them in Hiranandani. I stop here because there are a number f connoisseurs already out there.

15. Do make use of Vodafone Tuesdays to gorge on that Cheese burst or catch a blockbuster.

16. You get tickets as cheap as 50 in Kulraj Broadway and 40 in Sona gold!

17. Do visit and enjoy Britannia, Swati snacks, Leopold, the Sunday brunch at JW Marriott, the shavarmas at picadilly, the baida roti at Bade miah, just to name a few!

18. Thambi is a Tamil hotel in chandivali and Murali near gate 7, Taste at Mahakali caves and Just Kerala at Chakala are fine Mallu hotels ideal for lunch feasts on working days. The best Mallu meal is on offer on Sundays at Deluxe near CST.

19. Cooking is the best. Start now if you haven’t already.

20. Drinking is good so long as you drink scotch that too neat and the way it is supposed to be :P

21. Smoking is real bad :X due to a lot of reasons

22. Parties are good. Treat and get treats from everyone and whenever you can!

23. The L&T tea at 2pm though weird is addictive!

24. The coffee machine is a great resource if you can use it properly ;) You know what I mean right!

25. L&T - Lunch & Tea, or Learn & Train, but they are true depictions! A day inside is far more economical than a wasted CL! You get Lunch, Tea, breakfast, AC and free internet! On the other hand it is the best place to learn and train. I am sure most of you will agree with me on this!

26. Speaking of which, the best part of L&T is freedom, the freedom to start your own blog or club or the freedom to work your ass off and do some revolutionary work. And the flip side is that nobody will ask you to work. You gotta be motivated. Your action decides whether L&T is Lunch & Tea or Learn & Train!

27. Its all good people in L&T. You ay not realize how cool your boss is and how approachable and helpful he is unless you give it a try. Almost everyone regardless of cadre would be more than happy to spend some of their precious time you entertain your genuine queries. And the flipside is no one helps or gives you feedback without asking.

28. From my understanding, have as much fun as you can in your stint at L&T, both in work and otherwise. Bosses do oversee some outrageous fun because they too are fun loving. That is the only way you are going to cherish your days and get closer to people!

29. Coming late to office is not a crime so long as you can cover it :P

30. Shopping sprees are exciting and memorable

31. Becoming an MT gives lot of financial freedom

32. Do something innovative at work. Is there some work that nobody can best you? Doing timepass activities like literature club or start a blog are stepping stones to taking initiatives at work. Being unique is the thing. Have your signature on whatever work you do.

33. By the way, timepass activities like Literati and BoloLogo can also be called as Employee engagement initiative and corporate communication channel! Some of the best times that you have spent are through such activities. You do get to network and know ore people.

34. Do collect relics and capture memorable moments on the photo screen coz those are the only things that will be left to relive the past.

35. I have always felt that I was going home whenever I was going to L&T. The warmth and the freedom is unparalleled and I don’t think it will be possible with any other company!

36. If you work past 5.10 it means that you are not efficient enough to finish your work on time!

And this is the time when the laptop screen gets screwed. Anyways, I think I have already vented most of the spontaneous flow of thought. I am out of words to describe days spent at L&T, I would end by saying that you can always consider me as the guy next door and that you can feel free for approaching me for anything whatsoever.

I shall be available at xxx@gmail.com My facebook profile is http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/profile.php?id=xxxxx and my blog is http://sporadic-chirping-of-a-free-bird.blogspot.com/

See you all soon …
Cheers,
xxx xxx

The irony is that the Sayonara Mail is not sent yet because fishing out the email ids is a big headache that will take an hour itself! 

6 days, 8 hospitals – How I became sick in the struggle to get a medical fitness certificate!

The worst thing an IIM can do to its prospective students is to ask them to get a medical fitness certificate from a government hospital. Six days of effort and hours of total frustration is just the tip of an iceberg!

As usual one starts off with some impressive googling. Google guided me to a Naval Dockyard Hospital. I should have got a cue when people were clueless about the hospital! Nonetheless, regardess of the midday sun beating down upon me, I found out the hospital only to realize that it caters only for defence personnel! A couple of phone calls and googling later I found myself heading to ESIS hospital in Central Mumbai. It was past 2.30pm and the Medical Officer was still not back from lunch. Sensing my determination to stay back, the attendant advised me to be back by 3.30. Of course I had to make a phone call to understand that it was 3.30 because it was said in Marathi. I thought I will try my luck at the nearby Municipal General Hospital. There was a doctor there and he asked me to get a Blood test, Urine test and X-ray done from outside and then he will be able to give me the certificate. So much so for the time wasted since Lunch break on Day 1.

Some clever person gave me the idea of utilizing the upcoming holiday on Buddha Purnima to get the work done. After all people do get sick every day. However it took a trip to Navi Mumbai municipal hospital (as per the forums, one of the candidates got it done here) proved me that all government institutions are the same. As for the people getting sick on a holiday, a casualty ward was kept running. So much so for the post lunch run all the way to New Bombay on Buddha Purnima on Day 2.

Day 3. Left office with official permission at 10 am post breakfast and tea. This time I headed off to the nearest ESIS hospital. You know what, google hides facts! ESIS stands for Employees' State Insurance Scheme and as such the hospital caters to only factory workers etc who are insured with Maharashtra state. Determination led me to Siddharth hospital in another corner of the city. There is another thing that I discovered about government hospitals: they stop giving new 'case papers' at around 11. Despite everyone asking me to come back the next day, commonsense prevailed and I waited in the queue and consulted the doctor as to what to do. I got another chit with lists of tests to be done from outside. The doctor herself suggested me to go to some big government hospital like Cooper hospital where they do the tests inhouse. The name stuck on and with the expectation of finding a big super speciality hospital like Apollo, I set off to Cooper hospital retracing all the way back in the opposite direction on Western Express Highway. Now came the third realization - all government hospitals are the same regardless of what their name is. The same old shabby infrastructure would never have been a problem, had they issued case papers post 11am! Resigning to the fate of getting tests done from an outside private hospital, I headed to the Hiranandani Hospital, only to realize later that I should not have gorged on the mallu meal I had minutes before, as the blood test has to be done while fasting. Each hospital taught me a different thing each time!

Day 4 found me going straight to Cooper hospital directly from home. I reached by 8 and I hadn’t had any food. Common sense suggested that I should have gone to Thane Civil hospital where you can get the job done in half a day. It seems you get the tests done for formality there and the medical certificate is issued without even referring for the test reports! But then, as it has happened umpteen number of time in my life, I chose the difficult path – Cooper – paying little regard to the experiences of people already having gone there. There was a difference; I had a contact there through a colleague at office. I was dreaming of getting the certificate getting done in 5 minutes through the ‘high-level-contact’ until I realized that the ‘contact’ was just a security guard there. Anyways, he was supremely helpful and had it not been for him, I would have taken another two three days and maybe I would have ended up in jail for creating some law and order problem in Cooper hospital thanks to the frustrating bureaucratic procedures.

Fasting blood test, Xray, ECG, half of surgical clearance, Ophthalmology clearance, Sonography and Post food blood test got done by the time the hospital closed for the day. When the strip check and other tests were going on, I kept on wondering whether I was going to the army or going to be sacrificed in some temple festival. Only those people require such stringent tests. I felt like Neo of Matrix when the ECG was going on! And thus I went to office drenched and having lost one kilo as sweat!

Day 5. The problem with getting the thing done in Cooper is that you have to get clearance from each and every department that is there. To compound to this, there is no reception, nobody to guide you, and the doctors’ prescriptions are illegible. This is where the security man was of great help. However, I wasted close to half a day at Cooper just to get a clearance from ENT department which unfortunately was not functional on the previous day. All they did was to strike a tuning fork near the ear and scribble a few words. Now comes the great news – medical OPD department won’t be functional that day. I still had to show the sonography report to the Surgical department.

Day 6. Surgical Department ate close to an hour just for getting a line written on the case sheet. A huge huge line was waiting outside the medical OPD. Having had no food or water I grew even more frustrated by waiting in the sun. I was sent to get the date punched on the case paper. I sorely missed the security man as he was on leave that day. After hundred pages of ‘Losing my Virginity by Richard Branson’, I was in the hallowed presence of the government doctor. My blood was boiling and I was cursing the OPD doc as he made me run around and getting frustrated for no fault of mine. Maybe he had a fight with his girlfriend! By the time he said he won’t give the medical certificate in the prescribed format, I almost asked “What the ***k, you could have told this ***king thing beforehand!” I am not a person who loses temper that easily, but then I was bent on blasting each and every higher authority present in Cooper hospital. The clerk issuing the receipt for the medical certificate wanted the reports to be filed properly and each and every minute spent roaming around in Andheri to find a stationery shop maddened me. Unexpectedly the Medical officer on duty was a very nice person and she got my work done in a jiffy and I was back to my senses. While going she said, ‘Don’t tell your friends that Cooper Hospital is giving medical certificates and all, we don’t usually do this!’ And now I sped off for breaking the fast with a good Kerala Lunch. I should actually thank my company for not saying anything while I was absconding from work!

The Lord of the Rings Experiment

This is one of the stories that I produced when being utterly jobless at office (which doesn't allow google, blogger, orkut etc). I usually broadcast it through my company mail or the in the blog that I created for the company. This is for all those who missed it.

Welcome to The LOTR Experiment, the biggest misadventure of recent times. I was planning to say that I like to ‘experiment’ in a recently concluded interview (the MT interview, for those of you who know), but then, I never expected that failed experiments could have cosmic ramifications in a personal universe. Anyway, here it goes:

I have recently shifted to Navi Mumbai and I am the only one staying in the flat for the time being. I got so bored that I unpacked my computer and started playing the real time strategy game, The Lord of the Rings – The Battle for Middle Earth. While it is one hell of a game and I would like to speak volumes about it, I feel the misadventure is more interesting.

The computer is in the bed room and I went to the hall to fill water. The speakers were turned on with a pretty high volume and I wondered if the sound waves would go out and the neighbours would one day complain about it. I decided to experiment: I put the volume at an appropriate level and went outside the house to check the volume. Not much; and that’s when Murphy struck! I absent mindedly closed the door behind me! Shit!

I was wearing one of my worst night pants and a decent tee‐shirt. No floaters. I ran down to the watchmen and told them the problem. The fellow suggested that the best solution would be to get a key maker and get the thing fixed. It was not as if I had an option. But then, where can you get a key maker at 10.30pm? The watchman (WM) ran here and there for around ten minutes and came with the inevitable bad news – yeah, you guessed it right.

I had told him that I had given the real estate agents a duplicate key of my house for some plumbing work (Thank God! Even though I am an atheist). The WM noted down the number of the real estate agent. No phone. Ok, here is a guy coming, smoking merrily, oblivious of the situation at hand. His mobile was borrowed. Two tries; real estate fellow not picking up. Wow, now we have something.

I stood there perplexed pondering what should be my next move. Bizzare as it is, I started enjoying the situation I was in (!?). The other fellow was also thinking (Incidentally, his name is Raj and he stays in the same building). I told Raj, ‘Look pal, I have some friends over at Koparkhairane where I can stay overnight, but then, I need two things – one, a pair of floaters and two, some money). And thus, I borrowed slippers from an arbit stranger and 100 bucks from the watchman (can you believe it?) and was on my way to Koparkhairane in an auto rickshaw and finally managed to reach my friends’ house.

The rest of the story is mundane.

What better way to ward off boredom than to have such a wonderful experience – disturbing people around me at night, taking a night ride in an auto, being uncertain of the future, being penniless (that is not a new experience – I will tell you the Prince‐ Pauper cycle that I go through, some other day), having an excuse to take a casual leave, another night with my friends; I can talk all this crap once the incident is over. I wonder what would have happened had I not given duplicate keys to the broker fellows. I am planning to make a duplicate key and hide it under the carpet!

Just one 'Unified' blog

I have done away with the system of multiple blogs for various topics. 'Sporadic Chirping of a Free Bird' shall be my only blog. It shall be my THOUGHTS blog, ASTRO blog and TRAVEL blog. I have also integrated the following old blogs of mine into the current - 'Raptures about the Night Sky' and 'Dreams, Thoughts, Experiences'.

The Free Bird ushers in 'The Three Musketeers'

Long time no post huh? So much action happening all around and so little time to blog! I hope this little entry will reverse the trend forever.

One of my recent "short term goals" was to set up a small aquarium at my company accommodation. I don't know what prompted this ... maybe the aquarium shop that I saw while traveling by bus the other day at Kurla must have triggered the absolutely stupendous idea!

When an idea is formed, you should implement it immediately, especially if you are a 'first-gear-person' like me, who loses interest in things as they get routine and predictable. Wasting no time, I found out a few aquariums at Borivali through the amazing device called internet. Bought a bowl for 250, a kg of white stones for 50 and three goldies for 60, even though my finances had hit the rock bottom and I vowed not to spend anything for the month. (Some things are special though!)

The Red Orunda Goldfish, The Black Moor and The Red Cap Orunda - The three musketeers thus became roommates with the Free Bird. A pictorial overview must be immensely helpful:

That's the fish bowl beside my PC



The three musketeers as seen from the top



The side view of the three musketeers

I have been growing pet fishes for more than 10 years and I relish it as much as I savor Astronomy. The gentle movements of these gracious beings provides you an invaluable escape into a delectable new world, where you literally become a Free Bird flying around in blissful ignorance of all the happenings around you - An ultimate stress buster I must say. Everyone should try to maintain one!

The road to the Motorcycle license (From Dreams, Thoughts, Experiences)

It is really an interesting experience if you plan to take a driving license without the aid of the driving school. Though I took my LMV license through a driving school, I decided to take the motorcycle one on-my- own. If you are on-your-own, there are quite a number of privileges that you have to forsake. You can avoid spending a considerable number of days (not hours!) at the Transport Bhavan (the dirty, dingy complex that is office to the RTO); you can bypass the extremely long queue (so long that it starts at the counter, runs right across the hall, down the stairs to some corner in the storey below); you can avoid the innumerable shuttles between home and the CALLS counter (Computer Aided Learner’s Licensing System) each time the MVI (Motor Vehicle Inspector) rejects your application (simply because no one except the driving-school-guys know how to fill the application form and all that goes with it); in short, a myriad inconveniences.

Unfortunately, I had to go through all this drama just to get a test date. Again you miss out a lot of leniencies on the day of the actual driving test. You will certainly miss the services of the M-80 Major, the ubiquitous milkman-motorcycle which every driving school possesses. With its wonderful maneuverability, it is a boon for anyone taking the figure-8 motorcycle test. These driving school guys alter the M-80 to such an extent that you don’t even have to touch the clutch! In case of the LMV H-test, you will have to miss out on the algorithm these guys have created to crack the H! Follow the algorithm and each time you reach a strategic point of the H (conveniently marked out by heaped leaves and lines scuffed on the ground), you just have to turn the steering wheel the prescribed number of times and so on until you are magically through the H.

In case you are shrewd enough, you can advantageously use the leaf-heaps these guys use to help their clients identify strategic points on the test track and more importantly that cigarette carton resting on that strategic rod in the H-test. Overhearing the instructions these guys give to their clients can give you a wealth of information without which you would cut a sorry figure in front of those MVIs. Those viva-voce questions, the hand signals, the live demonstrations …. I grabbed them with both hands and came out in flying colors. I owe a large portion of my success in the yesterday’s on-my-own motorcycle test to these driving school guys!

Savouring the last Souring vacation (From Dreams, Thoughts, Experiences)

I have had nothing to do except chill out for the past few days! Isn't that testimony enough for the fact I am on a vacation? The hectic days of final year at college are over. The days where I slog and sweat at work are yet to come. Doesn't that allude to the fact that this is the last vacation for a long long time? That remaining so, recall the fact that familiarity breeds contempt and that even elixir in excess is real bad!

What is the ideal length of a vacation that one can enjoy to the fullest? For some guys at college, this last vacation was as short as 15 days. If you are planning on chilling out for a few days after those demanding last days at college, enjoying your mother's food and the delightful comforts of your cozy home, hanging out with friends - killing time, cracking jokes, window shopping and what not? You even have ample time to go on a pilgrimage(??) or an all-India tour!

Not before long, you finally realize that your vacation has come to an end and you are engaged in a frantic shopping spree to buy all those necessities, visiting relatives and seeking out their blessings before finally embarking on the 'epic' journey to work, visiting temples and praying for good luck ... thousands of things to do in a very short time!

One of my friends was gifted so short a vacation that he got to enjoy only the second busy half of the it, so much so that some of us (a group of 4) got an appointment to meet him only after deliberations stretching over two days! Most other guys got a decent vacation of a month and a half and have took off to work. What about me? This is day 70 of the 3 month long vacation. Yep, three months! I have done all those things that I have mentioned people do in their vacation, yet this one doesn't seem to end! I feel like a thirsty wanderer searching for an water in the middle of a desert, getting fooled every now and then by a mirage. All I yearn for is something interesting to keep me occupied!

It seems I have exhausted all the options. Lets see ... The first few days were spent in planning and executing a very enchanting foray into Wayanad, an ideal ecotourism destination nestled among the mighty western ghats that runs along the west coast of peninusular India. The purple patch threatened to end with this, but I deftly extended it to a few more days by going on a tour to friends' houses all along the length and breadth of God's own country. By this time my brother had arrived on his somewhat-long vacation. With two computers at home and lots of games waiting to be played, it turned out to be an extension of those idle college days where I used to play computer games day in and day out! A host of other interesting activities went on other than this and I was really enjoying.

That's when we (me, brother and parents) embarked on a North India tour extending from the borders of Pakistan at Wagah(Amritsar) to the thronging devotees on the holy banks of the sacred Ganges at Rishikesh and Haridwar, from sylvan Mussoorie and the peaceful Doon valley to the busting National capital ... We missed out on the last leg though, involving the pink city and the world wonder, due to a minor mishap in Delhi. The dream run ended shortly and it was up to me and my brother to make amends.

I really felt the pinch when my brother's long vacation came to a screeching halt a few days down the line. I was forced to turn my attention to hobbies that I had put in the cellar for the past four years ... reading, blogging, surfing and the like. Each passing hour seems like a day. I have even started attending those receptions and marriages of people whom I didn't know but people who knew me, a thing I have always abstained from all my life! With each passing minute this vacation which I thought I would savour is getting more and more sour. It is turning out to be a really long, Souring last vacation!